Featuring April Ludgate and Andy Dwyer
A bunch of body copy that I won’t write because I’m an idiot but here’s some cat ipsum instead. Roll on the floor purring your whiskers off scratch vommit food and eat it again. Cough furball stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside or funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you get my claw stuck in the dog's ear or cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch so cat ass trophy.
Pushes butt to face stare at guinea pigs yet spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch for ooooh feather moving feather! find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day, wake up human for food at 4am for sun bathe. Plop down in the middle where everybody walks claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?
Wanna see a checklist?
Deputy Director of Animal Control
April Ludgate-Dwyer was born in Björk’s house in Iceland and grew up on Easter Island, where her parents were giant stone heads. She has the ability to fire beams of tacos out of her hands and she can turn her legs into tigers. On Sundays, April enjoys reading Family Circus and traveling through time. Her favorite color is greenish-transparent and her favorite movie is the one you just watched. April is in charge of uploading the staff bios to the website, and no one has checked over her work.
Star of "Johnny Karate's Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show"
Sir Andrew Maxwell Dwyer, KBE GCMG, is dim-witted and guileless and a real idiot, but lovable. He is the lead singer and guitarist for his rock band, which underwent numerous name changes (starting with "Teddy Bear Suicide" prior to the show's first season), including "MouseRat," "God Hates Figs," "Department of Homeland Obscurity," "Flames For Flames," "Muscle Confusion," "Nothing Rhymes With Orange" (then, "Everything Rhymes With Orange"), "Punch Face Champions," "Rad Wagon," "Puppy Pendulum," "Possum Pendulum," "Penis Pendulum," "Handrail Suicide," "Angel Snack," "Just The Tip," "Jet-Black Pope," "Four-Skin" (later "Three-Skin" when one member quit), "MouseRat" (again), "RatMouse" (without Dwyer), "Scarecrow Boat," "Tackleshaft" and then "MouseRat" (yet again).